November 4, 2001

Lord O'Borbitt and Lord Speaker meet secretly on the Clyffes - Field Assistants Upgraded

Lord O'Borbitt claims to have made "spectacular" deal with Lord Nikolaus'Meyer

Speaker: "Oh come on it's not that bad! At least... I mean.... at least the rats have calmed down now. They don't sing during daylight, and they stop blocking the door when you give them some money..."
O'Borbitt: "We also shouldn't forget our feathered friend Lord McSweeney. He might not be rich, but he is charming and one Imperial heartbreaker, yes he is!"

Hook: "Hand on your own chicken heart, Lord O'Borbitt: What will be your first decree once you have become Emperor?"

Lord Speaker: "That guy is no bleedin 'Emperor!"
Lord O'Borbitt: "Indeed, the Imperial Crown is far out of my reach now. Should the other Lords and Ladies one fine day make me Emperor though, I would certainly, .... I mean I would... what would I do?"

Hook: "Thank you for this interesting conversation. One more minor question: Will you make Lord dejine your court jester?"

O'Borbitt: "I cannot say whether he qualifies. I might consider the idea. Hey, how good are you as a court jester, Speaker?"
Speaker: "Democratically elected men like me hardly ever qualify for such an aristocratic position!"
O'Borbitt: "Yeah, that was a good one, you would do."

Hook: "Do you have one more word to our readers?"

O'Borbitt: "Tell Lord Bloodlust he still owes me 500 goldpieces."
Speaker: (falls drunk from his chair)

[The interview was written down two days ago and brought to High Rock per pigeon. We thank the Imperial Courier Service for the quick delivery.]

Field Assistants take additional classes, are upgraded today

In High Rock, the recent class of Field Assistants has successfully taken additional classes and thus was much improved. Lord Skulpercushion, the professor at High Rock's distinguished Academy of the Arts of War, explains:."The graduates can now also automatically transport their own mistakes per pigeon to us, so that we can teach them how tio improve!" The new Field Assistants (2.0 Beta 2) can be seen and hired in the basement (also.known.as the "Dungeon" ) of the Imperial Archives.

In other news...

For the first time, luxury goods prices have fallen

Will we all soon be swimming in luxury? For the first time, the prices for spices have fallen below the 200 silverpieces-per-bag mark. Lord Cyrano has recently warned that the decline in prices might make overseas trading less profitable, and could therefore lead to a drastic fall in available means to wage war in Angyrn. Less war, more spices! We have wonderfuil times ahead! Rejoice, citizens of Gyrne!

Strange meeting on the Clyffes

Our Gyrne News Messenger Correspondent Hank "Hook" Grimfoot has interrupted a secret meeting of Lords Speaker of Moundburgh and O'Borbitt of Kyndach in the famous Pirate bar "Ye snortin' Grogsmen" on Tuesday on the remote Southwestern islands of the Clyffes Province. This ill-reputed bar is located on the eastern coast of Westclyffe. Hook Grimfoot was so kind to disturb this meeting with a number of nagging questions that he posed to the two, especially to Lord O'Borbitt whose power by far shadows that of 'Lord' Speaker. We hope our readers enjoy this exclusive interview.

Exclusive Interview with O'Borbitt (and that Speaker guy from that Moundburgh place):

Hook: "Lord O'Borbitt,what are ye doin' here on the Clyffes?"

Lord O'Borbitt: "The Clyffes are my personal refuge, where I ponder my next military... aah... political steps. It has a relaxed atmosphere."

Hook: "I can see that. Who are you planning steps against?"

O'Borbitt: " Well, Lord Cyrus has always been my most intimate enemy. However,Lord dejine has turned his back on me in a most fiendish way as well; and Lord Krummelbart is using every opportunity to increase his power at the expense of others..."

Hook: "..and what about Lord Watislav and Lord N'Meyer?"

O'Borbitt: "As far as Grandmaster Watislav is concerned, I admire his diplomatic and military skills. I would like to advise him though to keep his fingers in the North of Angyrn. Lord N'Meyer is a trustworthy business partner and well-liked neighbor of mine. I hope to congratulate him soon to the title of King of Eythel."

Hook: "What sort of business is this between you and Lord Meyer?"

'Lord' Speaker: "Yeah, right."

Hook: "Shut up! Lord O' Borbitt?"

O'Borbitt: "Our relations began with a most spectacular territorial deal, and will soon be extended onto other goods." [Supposedly, he added, rolling his eyes, there are many beautiful women in the Kingdom of Eythel.]
Lord Speaker: "What? Huh? What?"

Hook: "As for women and marriage - is it true that you intend to first make a widow of Lady Taris, and then to marry her?"

Lord O'Borbitt: "No! This evil rumour has surely been spread by Krummelbart, who is himself only too interested in such evil schemes!"

Hook: "It is said she's the best gain in the entire Empire. What about it, Lord O'Borbitt?"

Speaker: "Yeah, what, uh... what about it?"

Hook: "Shut up, you miserable anti-royalist! I'm talking to a nobleman here!"

Speaker: "Sorry."
O'Borbitt: "She might be rich, but my heart belongs to Lady Ingeline!"

[At this moment Lord Speaker, who was himself hoping to gain the hand of Lady Ingeline, protested vigorously,but was calmed by Lord O'Borbitts ordering him another grog.]

O'Borbitt: "Lady Ingeline - a hot topic indeed! Many Lords battle for her attention. For instance, Lord Speaker here would surely have some kind of chance, if it wasn't for his detestable house in the Southwestern district of Moundburgh behind that terribly smelling bridge."