October 27, 2001

Eastern Alliance in Disarray - New Field Assistants graduate from Imperial Academy

"Chicken" McSweeney denies ALL involvement

Eastern Alliance falls apart

According to news that reached us form the eastern parts of Angyrn,the once formidable alliance of Lord Watislav, Lord Nikolaus'Meyer and Lord Krummelbart has finally collapsed, easing the grip it once had on the throat of freedom of the other Lords of Angyrne. This gives indeed a new spin to the three-year-old civil war, which seems to now have ushered in a new phase of madness. Though it currently remains unclear who of the three Lords will attack whom, it is obvious that the immediate victim of the upcoming battle season will again be Swordmaster Krummelbart, who already has lost almost a third of his territory in the preceding months to other 'noblemen'. While Lord Nikolaus'Meyer has his propaganda gazettes trumpet the horns of attack against Grandmaster Watislav,it remains unclear what his intention is. According to secret sources of the Gyrne News Messenger Team Lord N'Meyer also offered Lord Watislav a secret agreement in return for an Imperial insignia; it is unknown which insignia was promised as part of the deal, or whether the agreement was eventually signed.

Lord McSweeney gives Interview

The ruler of Handur, descendant of the old and established McSweeney family, (now residing in Grimshill), Lord "Chicken" McSweeney, was so kind to allow some of our kind messengers to pose some question to his Lordship. We met his Lordship in the harbour of Grimshill aboard his ship "Golden Feather." He was dressed in clothes mainly made of chicken byproducts.

"Lord McSweeney - at the dawn of the war, it looked as if you were going to become Master of the Southwest. What happened?"

"Well... it was my mistake. Lord N'Meyer had warned me of an impending attack, yet I chose to expand, at the price of the independence of Handur."

"How is the personal relation between Lord Estarriol and you now?"

"He is a ... courageous tactician. He even paid back money I sent him before he had conquered... Handur. After his victory. His second attack showed his real character though. He loves treachery and sneak attacks, while I prefer a fair fight." [Lord McSweeney grabs a chicken bun from a plate on the table.]

"Is it true that Lady Ingeline has rejected your marriage proposal four times already?"

"Ooh... Lady Ingeline..." [rolling his eyes, mumbling incomprehensive syllables]

"Who would you prefer as future Emperor, and who do you think will be Emperor?"

"Well, currently it looks as if a certain marriage swindler will gain the title, but I still hope for Lord N'Meyer: He is a very good newspaper editor."

Coat of Arms of the Handurian House of the Clan McSweeney:

The mirrored Handurian Chicken on traditional red and green ground (Red for the blood of the fallen heroic chicken of Handur, green for the Handurian grass)

New Class of Field Assistants leaves Imperial Academy

In High Rock, this decade's class of Field Assistants has successfully graduated. "It's the best class we had, since, uh since the Emperor deceased!" said Lord Skulpercushion, a professor at High Rock's distinguished Academy of the Arts of War. "These new graduates can not only transport a Nobleman's commands to his underlings, they can also read maps and help in strategic planning!" Professor Skulpercushion said. "I'm sure they will all find employment!" The new Field Assistants can be seen and hired in the basement (also.known.as the "Dungeon" ) of the Imperial Archives as of today.

In other news...

Imperial Dungeon Officially Opened

The new Imperial Dungeon is now offering heretofore untested torturing instruments. It can be entered through the Archives.

Lord Cyrano becomes voluntary vassal

In Yonderstone, Lord Cyrano has voluntarily sworn allegiance to Lord Watislav to, as he said, "shorten the war."